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ON BIRTH..

ON BIRTH..
Mums, love to know what you think about sharing birth stories, gore and all. …

Its something that intrigues me, as I love talking about my births, which were both (for the most part) totally amazing experiences.

The main reason I like to talk about them is to give expecting mummas confidence – a reminder that we are designed to have babies, and that when we prepare ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally, powerful things are possible. That doesn’t mean to say that a positive mindset and AAALLLL the prenatal yoga, meditation, hypno-birthing and staying fit guarantees a breeze of a birth; it means that having faith and confidence in yourself, in the toughest of hours, is empowering and often really underrated, and can mean the difference between embracing the situation or fighting it. It means that if your birth doesn’t go exactly to ‘plan’ (which more often than not it probably wont!) that you have educated yourself on the options, and back yourself with your decisions, in consultation with your partner/ carers. It means that even if things don’t go the way you plan, you were able to make choices for yourself and your family, knowing they were the best choices for the moment, and for the future. It means you can still champion other women and allow them the right to have their own journey played out, without preconceived notions. I’m a poster girl for women championing women – listening to each other, supporting each other, but also holding space for each to have their own journey- not their mothers, not their best friends, or the lady next to them in the labour ward.

When expecting my second son, one thing I really wanted to do is to be there to listen to the stories my mumma friends had to tell , both good and bad, to hold space for that, and to love and care for them in the most vulnerable of times; yet to stay strong within myself to know that our story had not yet been written, and would take on its own path, not someone else’s. And also to let those mums out there who have had a negative experience first time around, to know that it doesn’t have to be your story second time around – just like our children have their own distinct natures and personalities, so too their births will be individual experiences.

So please, do what you can to be surrounded by people who lift you up – who listen to you, and to create space for yourself around other stories, to be supportive but also not to be entrenched in the cultural norm that birth is something we have to battle, but that can be an amazingly empowering and uplifting experience, the best day of our lives – if we let it.

If I had my time again (which hopefully I will) I would make my wishes known to my carers in advance, make sure my midwife was there in time to be the gatekeeper, and know that a birth plan exists not to be stuck to 100% to the letter, but to be a guide to follow . It exists to have your wishes known, given that you have spent the time educating and understanding your options, the chain of events that could happen and how you would respond in each.

And finally there the biggest element of surrender – knowing you have put in the work, knowing your baby and your body know best (even if that means they signal that you need outside help). Go mummas, you have got this 🙂

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ON SELF CARE…

ON SELF CARE…